patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -25

- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

the power to turn magnetism into light

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happened to the fish? It drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why are black people so dark? They originated from Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -25

charlie sheen becomes sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Charles Manson is innocent.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops