A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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