- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

thumb_up thumb_down +39

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I Have a Black Friend

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Buzi vagy!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops