A woman is carried out of a bar.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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"Knock Knock" "whos there" "interupting cow" "interupting cow who" "i have aids"

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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Why did the boy engage in oral sex with the other boy. He was a hormonal homosexual.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Vagina Boob

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Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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