What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops