How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whos the most unprodutive person ever not hitler her helped over populatin and got rid of the jew they multiply like jews anyways

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -3

welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Gay republicans

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man and woman walk into a funeral home. They are both very sad about the loss of their father who they loved dearly.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops