- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops