What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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