A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? the black man

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Why did the young boy die from Aggressive cancer? ...Because there isn't a cure.

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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