Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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A man had sex with his secretary. She was his wife.

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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