i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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Why did the black guy cross the street? Because his master ordered him to

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Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

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How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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You are joking right?

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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