What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops