Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowy, it still sounds like you're saying "gullible."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down -1

if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops