Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I cant find my anti-jokes this is also one

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops