Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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FUCK YOU SAY FUCK YOU SAY SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH THATS WHAT I FUCKING SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

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knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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The american education system.

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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