Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

America

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Maths.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops