Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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Penis

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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