How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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Q: Whats worst then losing your wallet? A: Giving birth to a dead baby.

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and 1000 dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

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Q:Why did the boy drop his icecream? A: His arm was chopped off by a ninja

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops