How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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Apple juice.

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops