What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops