a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

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Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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