Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops