Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas A bike.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

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when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Q: What's very loud, has 60 wheels, and is covered in snow? A: A massive car pile up in January that was caused by a women being distracted while Texting. 7 people were killed.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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roses are red violets should be purple

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops