Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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And Stephen Hawking said.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

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why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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The New York Giants

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops