A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

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knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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Q: Why did the black man win the 100 meter dash? A: Because ever since he heard of this event, he has spent weeks preparing for it.

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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