Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Hey Shea

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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