John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. You guys want to here a joke? Kids: Yeah! A. Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops