A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Roses are reds violets are blue when your parents says your beautiful they're lying to you

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm Helen Keller Everything's black

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A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops