How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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Q: what did the poor, blind, deaf, orphan girl get for Christmas? A: cancer.

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Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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Why? Why Not?

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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wanna hear a joke? i dont

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops