A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Christ is a conspiracy

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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