Why can't you look at the sun? Because it's 2.00 AM

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

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Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

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yada yada

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops