what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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Walking down a cold, lonely, deserted street is a 10 year old who lost her parents. she has with her in plain sight her fathers wallet, so full of cash that it is literally too full. all of a sudden, a black man with a gum jumps out from around the corner. he then proceeds to mug her and shoot her. thanking the man for playing cops with her using finger guns, she goes home with a new coffee mug and a stick of gum. she died three days later from unrelated incidents.

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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What's more fun than thumbing down a shit joke? Thumbing down a shit joke which is neutral previous to your disliking giving it a little negative number.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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