Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops