"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

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A women in the kitchen.

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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No because your face is really f***** up.

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

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Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

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kathryn atkins

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chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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