A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

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What's green and blue? yellow

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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