whats 7+4? 74

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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Justin Bieber

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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