A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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who has a vagina, likes men , soundslike afive year old girl, has some sweet boobies and onlyhas one hair on his little vag? Robert sweeny

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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Why did the dog bark? Because he wanted to.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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