Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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what's up? my penis.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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