Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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