What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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( . Y . )

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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I have suicidal thoughts

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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