A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man go to prison? He committed a crime that had a penalty of several years in the state penitentiary.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

thumb_up thumb_down +13

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops