What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

Fine, this better be worth it, this is no time to be a jackass Nero.

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

I forgot what i was gonna say

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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