Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

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knock knock "who's there?" "boo" "boo who?" dont worry its only a joke dont cry.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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