What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

You know whats funny Aids

Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

What do you call your mom? Mom

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

What's brown and adhesive? A stick

If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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