What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

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Do u take sugar?

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What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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