There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Why didn't he finish his

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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