Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

Death by kayak

A baby seal walks into a club.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I HAVE AIDS NOW YOU DO TOO

*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

Stephen Hawking

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

Q. How do you know when an asian has robbed your house?? A. Like any other thief, most of your expensive belongings will be gone it depends on duration of robbing and their morality

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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