Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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