What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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a man walks into the bar and say, OUCH!!

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops