Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

thumb_up thumb_down +22

so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Asians.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

thumb_up thumb_down +22

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

69

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops