5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

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Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

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what's up? my penis.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Raveena Thandhan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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