how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

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Sharvil has aids 4 times

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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