in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Care to fill in some of the etc etc`s for me? Its not like we are complete strangers one to another either, you and I I mean, I feel pretty secure around you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I don't believe in giraffes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a hispanic guy are standing before a cliff. They proceeded to take lovely pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is dead. What's worse that that? It's eating it's way out. What's worse than that? It made it. What's worse than that? It went back in for 2nd's.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops