roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

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ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Finding a grammatical error on anti-joke.

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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PENIS that is all

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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