why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

Women. One of the genders a human can be.

Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

A man walked in a bar and asked for 10 shots. (not descriptively) The bar tender got his gun out and shot the man 10 times. Another man asked for three stabs at it. The bar tender stabbed him 3 times. The last man asked for a bomb load. The bar tender gave him 100's of granades. Then the man bombed down the bar with the bar tender inside

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...