What the person say to the other Person? Hi.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

a man walks into the bar and say, OUCH!!

a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

women's rights

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 24

What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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